A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ”Five beers, please.”
i dont get it
No one explain it
Girls who don’t receive romantic/sexual attention from boys blame themselves
Boys who don’t receive romantic/sexual attention from girls blame girls
i stepped on the scale today and it said “bat”
it took me a few seconds to realize it meant the battery was out, but before i realized that i just said “i am not a bat” out loud
sneaking into the kitchen at 3am like
i hope we have some got damn juicy juice boy shit i am thirsty as a mother fucker
We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn’t stay alive.
When your pet adjusts their position so they can lay their head on you
Water tastes wild good sometimes. Like usually it’s whatever but sometimes you get a sip and it’s like god damn.